Pipe Dream’s May 2008 Newsletter

A Rum Soaked Princess Visits Pipe Dream!

Yes, the crew of Pipe Dream is sailing back to Florida but only for a short period of time. We will be storing Pipe Dream on the hard in Fernandina Beach, Florida, for the Summer Hurricane Season. For you land lubbers “putting her on the hard” is pulling Pipe Dream out of the water and leaving her in dry dock. We have our fingers crossed about hurricanes. The last time we left her in Florida for the summer, Hurricanes Jean and Francis went right over her in Fort Pierce.
To give you a little recap: In the last newsletter we had just finished the Georgetown Cruisers Regatta and the Bahamanian International Music Festival. Jutta had finally got her head out of the clouds after her “You Tube” performance and things had gone back to normal, or as normal as normal can get on Pipe Dream. For the month of April we remained in Georgetown, Bahamas, looking forward to entertaining two more sets of guests and the Family Island Sailing Regatta.
The first April visitors were Brandon, Jutta’s eldest son, and his girl friend Susan. This was Susan’s first visit to the boat. We showed her all the sights around Elizabeth Harbor which included a stop at the “Chat’n Chill”, the local island bar on Stocking Island. Susan had her first introduction to a “Gombay Smash” which is an umbrella drink made with rum, rum and a little more rum and coconut rum. I think there is also a little pineapple juice in it for fill and some orange slices. After four or five Smashes, contrary to rumors, I can assure you there was no slurring of words or dancing on the tables at Pipe Dream. You know you can trust me. I have an honest face!!! We got to see another side of Susan. Yipes, welcome to the family! It took some time for Susan to dry out. While visiting Pipe Dream Brandon proposed to Susan on a moon lit night on the bow of the boat (that’s the pointy end) and slid the Hope Diamond on her finger. Susan needs to go to the gym so she can learn to keep her left finger up. I proposed to Jutta six years ago and gave her a rubber “O” ring for an engagement ring. She holds her finger up at me all the time but I think it’s a different finger!! Brandon should have talked to me first; he has started a bad precedence!! Another night we dinghied across the harbor to the local fish fry and witnessed Brandon and Susan’s musical talents at karaoke. Susan worked on her tan the entire visit to Pipe Dream. It seems she had been taking an antibiotic before she came to the boat and her tan turned into a mass of bumps. You should have been there, it was very attractive. After ten days of playing on Pipe Dream Brandon and Susan caught a flight back to reality and Jutta and I started provisioning for our last guests of the season.
Don and Jacque, my sister and brother-in-law arrived just after tax season. Their visit coincided with the Bahamian Family Island Regatta. We spent the week watching the Bahamians racing their traditional boats and sipping rum drinks. We also sailed to Emerald Bay because Don invited me to play golf with him at the Four Seasons Resort. I gave up golf eight years ago but I said I would give it a try. At Four Seasons’ prices, after eighteen holes, I lost fifty dollars worth of golf balls, which amounts to about a dozen. I think it’s time to retire the golf clubs again. Still, we had a wonderful time with them and it was nice to get to know my sister all over again.
Jacque and Don left at the end of April and Jutta and I packed up Pipe Dream and headed back to reality. We checked into the United States at Fort Pierce which is a real treat. We all know how “Homeland Security” has made our shores safe from subversive groups. I’m sure we pay billions of tax dollars for the service they provide. For those of you none boaters here is the procedure: First you buy a yearly $25.00 customs sticker for your boat (just another tax.) When you leave the country you don’t need to tell anyone, you just sail away. When you re-enter a US port you have to call the 800 US Customs number. After you are on hold for at least one to two hours a live person actually answers. The person who answered my call had such a thick accent, maybe East Indian, Iraqi, or something, I could hardly understand him. He asked for my customs sticker number and about ten minutes worth of other questions to prove I was Me. Then the big security questions came. Do you have any meat, produce, or fruit products in your refrigerator? Of course I don’t, what do I sound like, a food smuggler? Do you have over $10,000.00 dollars in cash on your boat? Of course not, being a good American I count out $9,999.99 of my cash and throw the rest over board. He then gave me about a twenty digit number to take to the local Immigration Office within the next 24 hours. This usually involves a costly cab ride. Fortunately, some boating friends gave us a ride. Upon arrival I handed over my 20 digit number and I was done. Last year I arrived in the US on Memorial Weekend. When I called customs the answering service told me they were closed for the three day weekend. I was told not to worry about check in until next week!!! I hope those of you reading this will sleep better tonight knowing Homeland Security powered by your tax dollars is protecting us from imported produce and meat.
We fly back to Arizona on the 4th and I am worried about security taking away my cologne or toenail clippers! What’s wrong with this picture?
Well, that about sums it up for this cruising season. Pipe Dream is put to bed in the shipyard and Jutta and I are off to Mexico by car for some house hunting. We have had to tighten our purse strings since donations for the “Help Ferdy Cruising Fund” have been a little slow. The high price of gasoline is also causing us worry, but Jutta, being German, has volunteered to push our car around Mexico to stay in shape while I steer. Keep Jutta off the roads and send you dollars today.

From the decks of Pipe Dream

Ferdy and Jutta